dickfiguresfandomcom-20200223-history
Brain Switch
Plot The only thing worse than Red's brain in Red's body is Red's brain in Blue's body. Well, for Blue at least. When the pair accidentally swaps brains shit gets crazy as they try to take over the other's life... poorly. Transcript (On the street, [[Red]] and [[Blue]], who is wearing a tie, meet up.) Red: Where you goin' all fancy-pantsed? Blue: (talking as if Red should emulate him) I have a job interview so I can get money and pay bills like a normal person. Red: I don't know what you're talkin' about, but I'm gonna go find a dragon. (Deep voice) Peace. (Two lightning bolts shock both of them and they fall down.) Red & Blue: I don't feel so good. (They sit up and look surprised. Red is horrified and Blue smiles.) What happened?! "Red": Oh, what? Did we just switch?? "Blue": Oh, my God, my brain is in your head! (Laughs.) "Red": (crying) Ohhhhh, fuck. "Blue": (stands up) I'm gonna do so many weird things to your body! "Red": Oh, my God, my interview! "Blue": (body undulating) I just pooped in yo pants. "Red": You can't fuck this up! "Blue": Don't worry, I'm Blue, it'll be fine. (Whistles and walks into the street, getting run over by a car.) "Red": Oh, God, my body! "Blue": I pooped again. (Time lapse. The interview has started. "Blue" and the interviewer sit, facing each other. The clock ticks.) Interviewer: So what are your interpretations of the last quarter stock returns? (Closeup of "Blue"'s brain.) "Blue": (thinking, deep voice): Mmmm, thinking. Say something clever. We are undervaluing our fiscal stock remainders. Yeah, let's go for it, those are words. "Blue": (moving crazily) Battle trash chedda wheels! (Closeup of "Blue"'s brain again.) "Blue": (thinking, deep voice) Ugh, terrible! I'm giving us amnesia. Who's giving who amnesia? Interviewer: Mmm, interesting, interesting, yeah. ...Are you retarded? (Time lapse. Both friends are back on the street.) "Blue": I, uh, didn't get the job. "Red": WHAT?!! You asshole! I told you not to fuck this up! "Blue": The guy was a jerk, anyway. "Red": That's it! I'm gonna ruin your life... ''and'' your body! "Blue": Good! I'm gonna ruin yours! (Time lapse. "Bath Rhymes" plays as "Blue" downs a bottle of vodka from the fridge and belches.) (Soft piano music plays as "Red" picks out a philosophy book at a library.) ("Blue" snorts cocaine off of a stripper at a club.) ("Red" vacuums the apartment.) ("Blue" motorcycles off of a MURDER JUMP 5K ramp surrounded by flames and saws.) ("Red" looks at a rose and takes it in.) ("Blue" dances hard at a club surrounded by women, while holding a liquor bottle and a stack of cash. He throws the stack behind him.) ("Red" sits on an examination table while the doctor reads his notes.) Doctor: (the piano music stops abruptly) You're dying. (Time lapse. "Blue" is on the phone. On the other end, [[Pink]] is in bed, reading "Fang Angels". She picks up the phone.) Pink: Oh, hey, Blue. "Blue": Hey, you, boo-boo! Pink: (giggles) Uh, I was just about to go to bed and-- "Blue": That sounds very (Spanish) ''comfortable''. You know what would be more (Spanish) ''comfortable''? Pink: What? "Blue": Us, naked, next to a fire. (Pink perks up.) ♪Naked looove♪. Pink: (smiling seductively) Blue, I've never seen this side of you. "Blue": Baby, I wanna see ♪every side of you♪. Pink: Why don't you come over ''here''-- "Blue": I'm already on my way. You stay classy, San Diego. (Hangs up.) Pink: What? ("Blue" kicks off the door of the phone booth and runs out.) (On the street, "Red" walks, carrying a bag of health food.) "Red": I'm gonna put so many healthy things in that douchebag's body. ("Blue" bumps into him with a lightning bolt between them and they fall down. Blue groans and vomits.) Blue: Everything hurts! What did you do to my body? Why is there so much poop in my pants?! (Red sits up.) Red: (Raccoon's voice) What-a the fuck-a just happened? (Elsewhere, Raccoon sits in a chair with the three prostitutes dancing in front of him. "California Love" plays.) Prostitute: Whoo! So fluffy! Raccoon: (Red's voice, dances in the chair) I think I'm turnin' Japanese, I think I'm turnin' Japanese, I really think so-- -Episode ends- (After credits) Raccoon: (Red's voice) I can go all night, baby. I'm noctural. (Growls seductively.) Recurring Gags Auto-Tuned Singing None Red Floating When "Red" and "Blue" go off to do ruin their lives and bodies, Red (in Blue's body) floats away from Blue (in Red's body). Episode Ending The "I"'s in DICK FIGURES are replaced with brains getting electrified. The Last Line Being Cut Red (in Raccoon's body) was about to say "so", but it was cut off. Trivia *Many fans believed that Red can float because of his hat, but when he was in Blue's body, he didn't have his hat, yet he still can float, proving that the reason why Red floats is not because of his hat. *The quote "You stay classy, San Diego" is from the film "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy". Continuity